Why doesn’t Ethereum simply buy out Bitcoin?

Premise here. The big selling point of Ethereum is that it has the ability to work in 'smart contracts' so that it can be used for everyday purposes. Bitcoin, by design, can't change in any way unless it has 51% of the owners agreeing to any change. There are many articles I've read saying that 30-40% of Bitcoins are lost forever, mostly bought years ago, put on a USB drive then lost, in landfills, etc.

Since the possibility of 51% of Bitcoin owners could never possibly agree on something so big as to change the underlying code, since 40% of them couldn't vote anyway, and since Ethereum has the capability to put in a contract for the purchase of Bitcoin at say, .50% (I know, a lot) profit upon purchase, then why not?

Bitcoin owners could exchange their money, via an Ethereum contract at .50% in one day. The window for this would be open for say, six months. After that, the price of exchanging your Bitcoin for Ethereum would drop to .25%.

At first, no-one would do it. Then, some whale that sees the inevitability of Bitcoin becoming Ethereum will jump at a chance to make his every $1.00 of Bitcoin worth $1.50. Ethereum and Bitcoin routinely jump in one day, 3-10%, so this wouldn't be much, but a lot for whales. Once the first whales start jumping ship (pardon the pun), the other Bitcoin owners will be almost forced to leave. Most will hesitate, but when they see the market-share of Ethereum jump to double what it is now, they'll just about have to switch.

Ethereum will take a big hit with this 'bonus' for switching. BUT, the power of Ethereum doubling would create a colossus, on par with the biggest banks in the world with enough clout to stop any politician from saying, "Oh, we're old men, we don't understand this internet stuff. that's why we're asking the 'experts' at Goldman Sachs to help us form a new digital dollar."

Thoughts? Is this plausible? Yes, I know that the two are completely different. this would be a voluntary switch for Bitcoin owners. plus, it would be fun to think of all the Bitcoin whales saying, "I'm not switching!", only to be told, "Oh, really? The CEOs of Americas five biggest banks just said they're taking the deal. And it drops in half soon!"

God, the panic as the war between the Coke and Pepsi of cryptocurrency becomes real, with only one clear choice as winner.

Again, just spitballing. I just have ideas and throwing them out there. Don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

So…?