Pope Pump is Real

In a divine twist of fate, Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost, a 69-year-old (nice) Chicago native, has been elected as Pope Leo XIV, becoming the first American Pope in the history of the Roman Catholic Church .

As the white smoke billowed from the Sistine Chapel, signaling the election of the new pontiff, crypto markets experienced a miraculous surge. Bitcoin ascended to over $100,000, while Ethereum followed suit, climbing to $2,800 .

The crypto community is abuzz with speculation:

Divine Intervention or Market Manipulation? Some traders believe the Holy Spirit might be the newest whale in the market.

Even the Vatican seems to be embracing the blockchain. Rumors are swirling about a new decentralized confession app: "Sins on the Chain."

One thing's for sure: with Pope Leo XIV at the helm, the line between the sacred and the speculative has never been blurrier.

Disclaimer: This post is for entertainment purposes only. Always do your own research before investing. Blessings and bullish trends to all!