I don’t always trade crypto. But when I do, I go full degen.

It's 12:30 am.

Your eyes are half open. You're barely awake.

It's been a long day of watching random crypto accounts on YouTube, reading every new random crypto sub you come across and wondering why you don't have a girlfriend.

Then it hits you – the Europeans are waking up.

"They're going to screw with the market", you anxiously think to yourself.

You awkwardly pretend you're an expert trader.

You login to all your accounts and start setting stop loss triggers.

You pass out on the leather sofa that you negotiated for on Craigslist, fried chicken in hand, straight out of the family sized bucket.

9 hours pass.

You wake up to the buzzing of your phone.

"It was your job to refill the ice cream machine, you shmuck", barks your boss at McDonald's.

A tale of the century. Until the next bull run.