Ugh, just 6 days since my last Safemoon post. As ever, when there's a new fuck up I'm on the scene to report it like Veronica Corningstone (and maybe I should go back to my home on Whore Island!)

///////Part 1: Safemoon's performance of Mental Gymnastics in the Tokyo 2020 Olympics has been simply stunning. They deserve every Gold they've been given.

///////Part 2 &^1/2: Safemoon has been exploited from day 1 and $68,460,000 have been siphoned out of the liquidity pool. This gets auto-deleted from their sub. Explanation in comments

///////Part 33 &^1/3: Last call for Safemoon. The curtains are drawing on this omnishambles of a project.

///////Part 44 &^1/4: Like rats fleeing a sinking ship, Safemoon's core developers peel away one by one as the price plummets and one single question remains unanswered – WHERE IS THE MONEY GOING?

///////Part 55 &^1/5: History Repeats Itself: another high ranking Safemoon official slinks out the back door, price goes through the floor.

///////Part 66 &^1/6: Safemoon investors: “Do you have updates on the promised roadmap items?” Safemoon CEO: “Shut up, I’m playing Halo”

The word on the lips of every devotee for at least the last two months has been "Wen V2?" in reference to John 'Baloney' Karony's claim that because Safemoon has a 1 Quadrillion supply it cannot be paired normally and therefore won't work on exchanges (Somehow, Shiba seems to be tradeable with Stablecoins and Fiat with a 1 Quadrillion price…) Therefore, V2 will be a reverse split. Sorry, my mistake. a CONSOLIDATION of 1,000:1-

-!RECORD SCRATCH!- ,':| Hold on guys…

"Siri, define consolidate"

"combine (a number of things) into a single more effective or coherent whole." 

^{One could say that the reverse of splitting something is to bring it together, I think there's a word for that…}

It's understood that this is the update everyone has been eagerly anticipating, V2 first, then the team can work on the Blockchain (originally slated for end of 2021) and the Exchange (originally slated for end of 2021)

Now we are at the end of 2021 and V2 was finally released to the DeFi BSC Shitcoin world, who then firmly rejected it.

What happened?

Well as it turns out, due to some kind of extraordinary contract fuck up, when people migrated their tokens from V1 to V2, they still had to pay the 10% Safemoon tax – and reflections on these were being paid only to V1 wallets. That meant that as more and more wallets were migrated from V1 to V2, reflections were paid out in higher proportion to those that remained. It's estimated that quite a few whales took the plunge to V2 and have lost out on hundreds if not thousands in reflections in just a few days. In fact, looking on the Safemoon subreddit there are many duplicate posts exclaiming how good the reflections have been, and how people are going to stay on V1 as long as possible to reap extra rewards.

This of course went down like a lead balloon. There are now people stranded on V2, unable to go back to keep receiving reflections. They can't sell either as there is a criminally low liquidity of something like a few hundred thousand in the pool, meaning one whale could wipe out all liquidity and make V2 virtually worthless. On a side note, liquidity is now being transferred but this raises further flags as it sits in a totally unlocked wallet

Another baffling decision is to exclude PancakeSwap from the new liquidity pool, where by far most of the buying and selling of Safemoon is conducted. It seems that the team want to keep all the Safemoon holders in their own wallet. Considering how often you hear "Volume brings us wealth" from the devoted with regards to reflections, you'd be excused for wondering aloud how sawing off the feet that do the most traveling will move you anywhere.

Only 5.6% of people moved, seriously?

According to official stats, there are 2,950,000 Safemoon holders – but this isn't strictly true – bearing in mind these are V1 figures, here are the most recent Holder Statistics for Safemoon.. Approximately 55% of wallets hold $15 or less of Safemoon (with 31% holding up to $0.78, AKA dust)

It doesn't get much better, including wallets up to 500,000,000 Safemoon, 96% of all wallets own $786 (with 41% of these owning between $15-$786)

Ignoring the dust wallets, we know that the reverse split is a 1000:1 ratio, so let's find people who have moved at least $15 into Safemoon V2. $15 in V2 is approximately 10,000 tokens. Looking at this file at the top of the page titled "Download all Holder file", I can see that all holders of V2 are listed in holding order. Therefore, only 153,524 wallets with $15 or more moved from V1 to V2.

If we apply that same criteria to the V1 holders chart, we get 1,315,081 holders.

This means that Safemoon's first release since the botched wallet launch has a conversion rate of just 11.67%

Pretty shocking stuff.

And the truth is, there was no incentive to move to V2. You get less reflections and no ability to sell. This sparked outrage in the Safemoon subreddit and Discord, with people firing memes back and forth to try and shame people into moving to V2 (so they can eventually move liquidity over and get reflections going) and the other 88% of people stoutly refusing to move, cashing in on reflections many times greater than their daily averages, and then from the opposite bench, desperately trying to convince people to move.

What now?

The devs are aware there is a problem and are investigating various avenues. Karony is suggesting giving the first 1M people an NFT (Pretty worthless as that is then distributed to 76% of all holders above $15 if EVERYONE migrates). Another exec has suggested locking people out who do not upgrade to V2 in time. Effectively fucking everyone over who does not stay up to date regularly.

MAN, GOTTA LOVE DECENTRALIZED CRYPTO, AMIRITE?!

I'm sure I'll see you all next week when some other catastrophe strikes. All the best.

Oh, and just to beat every other hilarious jokester in the comments:

"But it has Safe in the name"

"I though it's supposed to be safe"

Etc.