Everything is good for Bitcoin – give me any statement and I’ll explain why it’s actually good for Bitcoin

Fees are too high – just shows how much demand there is

Fees are super low – it's so cheap and frictionless!

Bitcoin is banned? – they're afraid of how powerful it is

Mining is bad for environment – bitcoin actually encourages movement to renewable sources

Company buys bitcoin – institutional adoption is here! We're all rich!

Company dumps bitcoin – bitcoin is for the people, we dont need them anyway

China bans miners – it still works without them and no longer uses dirty coal!

Bitcoin moons – I'm rich!

Bitcoin crashes – I can get more for cheap!

What else y'all got?

Edit: Aliens, cheese, gyming, pooping, ww3 and injured right hands. It's all good for bitcoin!

Edit 2: let's add Simpson's, gypsys and vowels to the list!