A day in the life of an r/cryptocurrency user

I wake up at 11 AM after a long night of browsing reddit and trading crypto. This lifestyle is not for everyone, you have to make sure that you are up for making sacrifices such as staying at the computer late at night. I immediately check the current value of various coins and I spot that my favorite coin has gone up 0,6%. "Holy shit!" I think to myself. That has to be an all time high in the last 3 hours. Time to sell!

I go outside and enter my grandpa's WW2 underground bunker. I retrieve the key for the lock of a hermetically sealed chest. I open it and pick up my Toshiba 4200 RPM 100GB hard drive from 2007 in which I have saved my private keys. You can never be too safe with your crypto, if I had them in an exchange the chinese government could literally specifically target me and delete all my coins without repercussions.

I sell and make a whopping 17 USD of profit. Not that I care of course, fiat money is dead and I buy all that I need with crypto. My PC, my funko pops, my league of legends skins, all came from crypto . Back when I had a job I tried to make my employer pay me in ethereum or any privacy oriented token but he kept going on about stupid things like "I just want you to make a website for my pizza shop" and "I don't know what Monero is can't you just take cash". Thankfully the great bull run has made me a lot of money and right now I'm unemployed full time crypto trader.

I check my favorite subreddit, /r/cryptocurrency. I immediately spot mentions of doge, Elon Musk, shitcoins, and centralized exchanges. I froth at the mouth. I immediately downvote comments and posts, write a long winded comment about how centralized exchanges are the devil, to not invest in shitcoins and only in Ethereum, BTC and Monero. I make a post about how crypto youtubers,Elon Musk and other celebrities should not be listened to for investing advice, and instead only 4chan /biz/ users and redditors in obscure subbredits know the real stuff. I get 300 gold awards, moons and personally delivered food at my house for the quality of my posts. Feels good to help the community.Ever since I saw a post about how bitcoin investing cured a redditor's cancer I made a promise to myself to contribute to the community, we need each other more than ever.

It's getting late but I'm still hard at work. I spot a new listing for an ERC-20 token. Huge moonshot potential , but my price graph analysis of the price since inception to now (3 days) make me a bit weary. I open up my TOR network VPN encrypted browser wallet and decide to invest only some spare change just to see how it goes. I exchange 20 dollars worth of ethereum, pay 300 dollars of gas fees and secure my new tokens. No, it's not a shitcoin like doge, because it's not a meme or animal named coin, it has real values and applications. It's a fully decentralized centralized directed acyclical graph cryptozoology token with applications in quantum computing, I read the details in the team's whitepaper which was a pastebin link.

It's getting late.I eat my chicken nuggies bought online with litecoin, buy an NFT of a 720p image of a Genshin Impact character and get ready to sleep. I open up my phone one final time to check crypto prices before bed. Bitcoin has crashed 300%. I cry myself to sleep.