Shrodinger’s portfolio: As long as you don’t check your portfolio, you’re simultaneously both broke and filthy rich.

Well, to be more precise, if you seal your portfolio in a box that you cannot reach and hook it on an API to an exchange that triggers a "Sell" or "Buy" order that cannot be stopped, depending on whether a Geiger counter detects a decaying atom caused by a quantum event, as long as you NEVER check your portfolio, you are simultaneously both ridiculuously rich and completely fucking broke and you can enjoy living the life of both while those states are superposed. The sole act of checking your portfolio will naturally determine the outcome.