Before Kicking Yourself for Not Buying Bitcoin a Decade Ago, Take a Moment to Consider What Lunacy that Would’ve Required.
Join me, won't you, on a magical thought experiment.
You find yourself sitting on a couch, wearing a pair of crocs, and playing angry birds. You have a few DVDs to return to blockbuster. All the news stations are talking about the Deepwater Horizon oil spill. And you realize, holy crap, what year is this? You grab a newspaper to check the date and suddenly realize, newspapers are still a thing! You aren't dreaming. This is real. You know what you need to do. You need Bitcoin. All the Bitcoin. Where does one even get Bitcoin in 2010? Or should you mine it? It's going to take a little research. So you open a browser to start figuring this out.
Good god, Yahoo! homepage, by default. Anyway, you figure things out and begin to sink every penny into it. Bitcoin is at 3 cents! You sell everything you've got. You don't need your car, right? Retirement accounts? Screw it, it's worth the tax penalty. Pokemon cards–actually maybe hang on to that one. Once you're out of things to sell, it's time to start borrowing money from anyone and everyone you know. They'll thank you later. All the bitcoin. You need all the bitcoin.
Until finally, the family stages an intervention:
"Let me get this straight. You gave everything away? Everything?"
"I didn't give it away. I bought a digital asset."
"Can we see it?"
"I mean… it doesn't exactly work that way."
"So you gave all your money to some 'Tasoshi' guy on the internet? Who is it?"
"Well, we don't know WHO Satoshi is, that's not the point. But no, I didn't give the money to him. I bought–"
"Is this like, some kind of cult? Did you join a cult?"
"I'm going to be the richest person on the planet. You just have to wait a few years and–"
"You think this guy on the internet invented money, and he sold it to you, for… all your money?"
"I didn't say he invented money. He invented a currency that doesn't rely on a central authority. It's non-inflationary because you can–"
"But you already told me you can make more of it with graphics cards."
"Yes, but you can't make more forever. It'll hit a hard-cap in 2140 and every four years they–"
"2140!? What are you on?"
**FAST FORWARD A FEW YEARS**
"Honey! What can we say. You were right, we were wrong. Bitcoin is at $10. Sell it now and just think how rich you are!"
"Sell at $10!? Are you nuts?"
"What price are you waiting for?"
"I don't want this to lead to another intervention."
"What like, $20? $30? Oh dear god, honey, please don't tell me you're holding out for it to go over $100."